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Snot.

I swear this cardigan was clean on, I’ve done no more than vaguely waft near a child with it on, but already there appears to be a large 10 cm smear of snot on my shoulder which won’t come off with a baby wipe and I’m late for work. Clearly in this situation you have 2 choices,

1. Be late for work while you change outfit.

2. Go to work anyway, allowing your colleagues to assume that you have some kind of wardrobe slug infestation or never wash your clothes.

Option 1 has a number of other potential downfalls, in the time it takes me to go upstairs and change, the 21 month Incredible Hulk will more than likely either remove all his clothing, coat himself in a confiscated felt tip pen that he has scaled the bookcase to find or appear crying with blood dripping from one or all of his facial orifices. Bringing The Hulk with me has its own pitfalls, as the wardrobe is like a Pandora’s box of toddler joy and he will be compelled to climb inside spearing himself on a pair of old stilettos I haven’t worn since 2010. The 3 and a half year old Diva proves more of a psychological hazard than a physical one, because as soon as she gets wind of my sense of impending urgency to leave the house, her desire to stay put kicks in. Any suggestion that we might be late will only exacerbate this situation. Her conviction that she absolutely must finish the preparations for her imaginary friend Auroras birthday party before putting her shoes on, is in many ways commendable, but in no way conducive to a timely appearance at work.

So generally you resort to option 2, grabbing the pack of baby wipes off the side as you leave and optimistically scrubbing the snot stain at every traffic light on the way in. At one point I was wearing a dressing gown over my work clothes in the morning so I could strip it off once the children were safely installed in their car seats, but The Hulk got wise to that and started snotting on my trouser leg instead. He’s no fool.


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Friday Frolics

20 Comments

    1. Powell, you are my new Facebook blogging heroine xxx

    1. Love It. Once had some one at work ask me how I was confident and well presented every day and I told her that all she had to do was look closely and she would find that mornings snot line. She has spent the next 6 years pointing these out to me.

    1. Love it! The dressing gown and snot on the trousers is so true. If there’s a way they will find it!! Keep blogging! Fab reading 🙂

    1. OMG! I’ve done the dressing gown over the work clothes trick or throw on a t-shirt. But they still manage to get me with cream, toothpaste if not snot on the trousers… Had me in stitches reading this, keep writing xxx

    1. This made me cry with laughter…. I regularly turn up; be it to work, play dates, or family functions covered in snot of some form.
      Please keep writing, this is my only light relief!

      1. Well your post has certainly warmed the cockles of my heart!! Do sign up to get my posts by email or if you like my Facebook page they should come up in your feed. I’m sporting some snot on my right shoulder right now and I’ve just got back from being at large in the garden centre with my two monkeys. Thank you so much for your feedback. Xx

    1. God totally!! They totally sense when you are late and do anything to make you later!!! Thank goodness for babywipes!!! Next blog, chocolate stains!!

    1. I can relate to that. Not the going to work bit because I’m a stay at home mum but my kids do like to cover me in snot or jam or butter fingers just before we’re about to go out the door. Either that or one of them will decide to do a crap at the very last moment!
      #fridayfrolics

    1. AHH, snot – I find that snot has excellent wet wipe repelling qualities, I am sure there is something marketable there, if only we could find a practical use for it. #FridayFrolics

      Funny post.

      Cat

      x

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