Christmas Rehab

Christmas is over. And I’m alright with that. Me and Christmas are done. Christmas turned my children into crazy junkies. It sent them wild with the insatiable desire to get the next present fix. It made them genuinely believe that Chocolate was a food-group. The Hulk has refused to remove his dressing gown for days now. I want to blame “Christmas”, but really I know it’s my own fault. And for some reason, it isn’t just a day, I have let this madness go on for weeks now.

I’m ready for it. It’s Christmas rehab. The kids are going cold turkey, they went a whole day today without opening a present. They were looking round suspiciously for the next hit until at least lunchtime. It was like a scene from Trainspotting, but with toddlers. The begging, the negotiating, the tantrums. I caught the Hulk trying to open up the leftover present we had for my Mum, from my Mother-in-Law. It had to be re-wrapped before being handed over, but he still got a little hit of joy from starting the unwrapping.

The kids weren’t expecting the sudden removal of Christmas from their lives, they have reacted with mixed emotions. The Hulk was skulking round the Christmas tree so much that Daddy put it back up in the loft. The Diva was trying to do a curious interpretive dance routine to that strange Steeleye Span song that no one knows the words to – you know the chanty one. I turned it off, and reminded her of the existence of Katy Perry. There is life after Christmas if you Roar loud enough!

So Christmas in our house officially ended today. We didn’t take them anywhere exciting. Not a morsel of chocolate passed their lips. I made the Diva do some reading. The Hulk was required to eat fruit and vegetables again. We didn’t randomly let them have their own way “because it’s Christmas”. Both became re-acquainted with the naughty step. Their behaviour has improved a bit. Not loads but its early days. I’ve decided that next year we’ll try to keep a bit more of a grip on our normal lives and not beam ourselves up into the alternative universe that is “Christmas” for a whole month.

I say that now, but you can be sure that as the opening notes of “I wish it could be Christmas every day” come on the radio for the first time, my resolve will weaken. Before you know it I will have ordered half the Argos Catalogue, filled the cupboards with Quality Street, donned a ridiculous jumper with a picture of a reindeer on it and spent a weeks shopping budget on a turkey. Can you just remind me of this next September. You know, when all this shit starts again?


Life Love and Dirty Dishes


      1. Oh yes, I remember that word. Maybe I’ll just practice saying it for a bit! Happy New Year. xxx

    1. Haha! Hilarious post and it is so true! I have to say I am so glad my boy is now back at school. He said to me himself that he misses school and he wanted to go back. I wish I have taped record it, and play it back to him on the days when he is not so eager. But honestly, he has been bouncing off the wall – just because it is Christmas. Then again, it is all my fault for spoiling him rotten. I am now also ready for some Christmas rehab too. Happy New year! x #Twinklytuesday

      1. Totally same here. Much moaning about missing her friends and wanting to go to school. School starts and now cue much moaning about wanting to be at home. You cant win. Ever! thanks for reading. x

    1. I have just had the week from hell. Tears going into school because school is boring and building Lego is much more fun. I can see his point, but there’s little I can do about it. The final stand off resorted to me telling him if he didn’t go to school Mummy would go to jail. Cue more tears. #fail Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

      1. Loving the jail threat! Did it put the fear of God into him? I have told the Diva that if she continues to make me late for work I might get fired by my mean boss (who is in reality lovely and doesn’t seem to care that I am late every day) I would build lego all day if I could. I see his point. lovely to join you again this week! cxx

    1. I asked my son to tidy up his toys after dineer this evening, ‘I will Mummy ..for a chocolate coin’ bring on Easter (NOT!!)

      1. Ahhh the chocolate coin negotiation. We know that well in our house to. A fine currency. Thank you for reading xx

    1. This is hilarious! I’m the one who doesn’t want to let go of Christmas round here, I never do. Mine are not old enough to have become present monsters – they enjoyed them on the day, but forgot about opening things quickly enough. They haven’t entirely forgotten the chocolate (partly as they still have loads left). Toddler is asking for the lights back and renditions of Silent Night quite often, and we are still watching Christmas films at her request, which I’m happy to allow as I miss Christmas! I need your rehab, clearly! #fridayfrolics

    1. People all over the world are in chocolate withdraw right now. It’s crazy how we get used to the festivities, gifts & treats over the holidays. I’m always sad to see Christmas come to an end. And so sad to put away the decorations. But ,it’s great to get the house back to normal & get back to routine. x

      1. I feel like we’re finally back to normal, on the 11th Jan. Why do we do this to ourselves? Thanks for reading. x

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