Make me Thunderbird 2.
You know dickhead, the yellow one. Yes out of Duplo. Come on. What do you mean you can’t make a round object out of some stupid square bricks? Course you can. I heard you telling my big sister that we can do anything if we practice enough, so crack on. Just practice more, you smug fuck. Slacker. When you’ve finished you can make Thunderbird 3. No stupid, the red one. Jesus, I’m working with an idiot here.
Right lets get started. No no no, don’t be handing me the bricks, I want you to do it. I’m not helping, but I fully intend to throw an almighty tantrum if you do it wrong. Seriously, the window?? Everyone knows you have to start with the big flat plate. And I want it to be yellow, but if you actually use a yellow brick, I’m going to scream. I’ll be forced to pull the yellow brick off and throw it under the sofa in disgust. And that will be your fault not mine. The frame work is perfectly clear here. Do I really need to spell out the rules again mummy you muppet?
Right you dicksplat, here they are. Now make sure you concentrate, I’m not telling you again.
- Whatever you are making it needs animals. And people. All the people and animals we have. Yes, even the shit farmer/zoo keeper one that lost his hair. Thunderbirds 2 definitely had a penguin, and probably a giraffe. And Ariel from Little Mermaid.
- You start with the flat plate thing. Whatever colour one you chose will be wrong. I will not concede until we get to the last option, and then I’ll still make you work hard to convince me.
- I will need you to use all of the bricks that my sister is currently using. The ones we have will not do.
- If you refuse to sanction this, I’m just taking them anyway. We both know that. I’ll throw her “hotel” on the floor. I don’t give a shit. And I -pulled Snow White’s uneccessary fabric skirt off and hid it in that stupid Orchard Games shopping list shit game box you keep trying to make me play. You’ll never find it in there.
- When I touch what you have made me it will break. I will not be gentle. And when it breaks, its your fault. You made it, right?
- The moment you think I am engrossed in actually playing with this creation, I will cry. You will return, you will fix it. you will leave, I will cry. You will return, you will fix it, you will leave. This will continue at 30 second intervals until you crack and put the telly on.
- Oh and as you walk away, you’re probably going to tread on a piece. And eveyone knows that hurts nearly as much as treading on a plug. Loser.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Paw Patrol, that’s it Mummy, you go off and make yourself some coffee, you deserve it.