I’m not talking about the kind of moaning you do with your mummy friends about the how the skin on your stomach has been replaced by crepe paper. And I’m not talking about the kind of noises you made in bed in order to get yourself in this mess in the first place, remember that……no me neither.
I’m talking about the low level moaning noise emitted from your toddler on a daily basis. You know the type, not that full on “I’ve just walked into a wall, and blood is gushing from my head” crying, or “my sister just took that clothes peg I was using to attach a jigsaw piece to my trousers and I want it back” crying. Not even the “let me out the buggy” crying. I mean that background crying, the type that can go on all day. Some days you can tune it out, it’s like the lift music of my life, it’s there, it doesn’t sound good, but you stop noticing after a while. Some days it’s there with me everywhere I go and it’s like someone turned the volume down on the rest of the world. My ability to ignore it, is directly proportional to how much sleep I have had. This week there’s not been much sleep, and half an hour of low level moaning leaves me wanting to put my head in the oven.
I’ve tried many different techniques to beat the low level moaning with limited success. I’ve tried to fun them out of it, but when they’re in the moan zone, they seem able to multi-task, moaning and operating hungry hippos simultaneously. I’ve tried moaning back, going about my normal mummy business with a delightful background moan of my own. Sadly moans seem to spread faster than chickenpox in a nursery, and before you know we’re all properly miserable.
I have come to realise that the best thing to do with low level moaning is to put a nice song on to the jukebox of your mind. Shut the kids in a room with CBeebies, and just keep playing the happy song over and over in your brain. Have a little kitchen dance, go on treat yourself, you deserve it. This morning I have mostly been playing “Atmosphere” by Russ Abbott. Because you know, I love a party with a Happy Atmosphere. Shame I’m not in one……..