Parenting Boys - it really would have been easier to get a dog.

Parenting boys – it really would have been easier to get a dog. 

 

When I found out I was having a boy, I’m ashamed to say I had a little cry. I’d wanted another girl. I am ridiculously close to my marvellous sister and I had beautiful Bronte dreams of my lovely daughters enjoying this closeness. Younger brothers are generally irritating and I’d heard enough friends with boys telling me they had to be walked like dogs in order to wear them out. I’d tried to avoid owning a cagoul, and my national trust membership was generally reserved for the cream tea, so this really didn’t fit well with my parenting dreams.

In reality boys really are like spaniels on drugs till they are about 10, then they grow up, wank and grunt their way through adolescence and just when you’re starting to get on with them again in their twenties, they get married and their wife hates you. And they won’t remember your birthday. It was looking bleak. I sat in the car clutching my little maternity folder, tears in my eyes, while Mr Mess Stress and Fancy Dress assured me that boys aren’t all bad, after all he’s one and I rather like him.

So the hulk turned up and lo and behold he was a delightful baby. Much less grumpy than his sister had been. I wondered if I’d got it all wrong. Then he started moving. Then he started climbing. Then he started running. Suddenly I find myself parenting some horrendous love child of Spider-Man, Forest Gump and a lemming, but with less fear.

My responsibilities as his mother seem to just extend to keeping him alive. With the diva, I have much to teach her. We dance and sing, we colour, we cook, we write, we learn. With the hulk, I run round frantically while he throws himself off stuff and eats mud.

On the day he nearly got out the first floor window, I started to wonder how it is that there are any full grown men in the world? I’m frankly astonished they survive their childhood. I’m not entirely convinced that either me or the hulk will survive his. My grip on my sanity is certainly looser than it once was, I’m a borderline alcoholic, I live on my nerves, I spend all my spare time socialising with climbing frames ………..and I’ve bought a cagoul.

If this has made you laugh, please come and join the silliness on facebook. Thanks for reading. http://www.facebook.com/Messstressandfancydress

12 Comments

    1. That was brilliant! I will be adding it to my Pinterest board “brilliant blog posts” with an idea of doing a post highlighting them all later.

      1. Thank you so much lovely lady! Thinking I might need to get some kind of blogs I like page going on on my blog. I haven’t looked at doing one but now I’m reading so many blogs I’m starting to get some real favourites going on. I’ve shared a fair few of yours recently!!! Xxxx

    1. You have just described me at my scan with our son. I had a daughter and would have loved another. I was terrified of boys.

      It turned out that he was far more loving and affectionate than my daughter ever was. We did have slightly more knocks and scrapes, but on the whole we I’d class him as a success so far.
      We had a wonderful idea to have a third child after an 11 year age gap however and now basically have an 11 month old daughter who is EXACTLY how you describe your little boy. X

      1. Glad its not just me then! I felt guilty for ages about not being as excited as I should have been. But I am now on board with how gloriously mental he is! Do you feel like having St Johns ambulance on standby outside your house? He’s showing no signs of calming down, I’m just accepting it a bit more these days. thanks so much for visiting xx

    1. Brilliant post, simply brilliant, my head hurts from nodding so hard and my chest hurts from laughing so hard. I am a mum to a 22 month old boy and this could be written about him. I look at my friends who have girls with envy that they have time to put on makeup because their little princess sits calmly on the floor watching them or playing with a dolly, not trying to drown themselves by falling head first into the toilet.

      1. And your comment just made me feel very proud, then it made me nearly piss myself laughing. thank you so much for reading!

    1. Mytwin boys (5 yo) are pretty full on but luckily not as rough and tumble as many of their friends. I actually consider them to be quite gentle. I then have a daughter (2.7) who is SO much more gentle (most of the time). I am truly surprised at the differences betweeen gender, since I always considered myself quite the tomboy and expected my princess 😉 to be the same 😀

      1. You never know how they are going to turn out do you? We avoided princesses for my daughter and actively discouraged pink, but she is who she is and she loves all that girlie stuff. I love that they know what they want (dear god do they know what they want)

    1. Hahah! That’s really funny! We can’t imagine having a little boy in this household…it’s all girls and tiaras (including daddy!) 😉 Popping over from Facebook x

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