Reward Charts, I aint doing shit without a sticker mummy.

Reward charts – I ain’t doing shit without a sticker mummy. 

Every book writing nanny known to man staunchly supports the process of the reward chart. And a mighty fine system it appears to be at first. Wee in the potty and mummy will put a lovely sticker on your chart. Stay in bed till your sun comes up and we can put a smiley face on your picture. Don’t throw a tantrum in sainsburys and you can have 27 fruit shoots and piece of cake bigger than your face from the cafe.

Within a few short days the Diva realises that being good gets rewards. Fabulous. Oh she’s such a bright little thing I smugly tell myself. She’s learning so fast, and she’s so much more compliant than she used to be. For a few days I feel like I’ve graduated from the school of parenting with at least a 2:1. In reality the Diva takes a week or so to learn that if there’s no reward the task isn’t worth doing. Put my shoes on? Will I get a sticker? Then I’m too busy, sorry. Wee in the potty, I’ve already won the zoo trip, what’s in it for me? I’ll just piss myself, it’s easier. Before long we have about 14 different reward charts going on and I’ve lost track of what I’m trying to achieve. She might put her shoes on in a few seconds now, but it takes us longer to leave the house as she agonises over which is exactly the right fish sticker to represent her amazing footwear success on the chart.

Yet again I’ve been outwitted by my 3 year old. Why am I surprised? I haven’t slept properly in years and my main mental stimulus is supplied by Mr Tumble, realistically I could probably be outwitted by a teaspoon.

In the end I start my own chart, go a day without scowling at the children and you can have wine, do the washing up and you can eat a Swiss roll (yes a whole one, don’t judge me). Brush your hair before the school run and you can have a poo on your own. Suddenly we’re all winners!



    1. Haha that’s me not introducing a reward chart then. I’m definitely easily outwitted so had better not taking on a toddler! Enjoy those Swiss rolls, you earned them mummy! great post 🙂 x

    1. I Love Love LOVE your post sat there laughing literally out loud until my husband made me read it to him and even he laughed (no small achievement at 8.30am) I’ve started following you on facebook can’t believe I haven’t seen your blog before its ace. #TwinklyTuesday

      1. That has made me so happy I can’t explain! Thank you so much. The blog has been having some maintenance issues and has been a bit quiet this week. Thanks so much for following on Facebook. I will search you out!!

    1. “Don’t throw a tantrum in sainsburys and you can have 27 fruit shoots and piece of cake bigger than your face from the cafe.” hahahaha yep! been there. Funny! #twinklytuesday

    1. Love it! V funny.
      I live with the ‘poo patrol’ too.
      I’m about to start a reward chart for my 2-year-old so will do my own at the same time!

      1. Those pesky poos. Get on the rewards, because you’re worth it! Thanks for reading. Xx

    1. I LOVE the wine chart!!! That is brilliant!!!

      We finally weened our girls off stickers (which they earned for no potty accidents) around age 3-ish. We talked about the reward chart being for babies as they were learning, and now they’re big kids and staying dry is just what you do. We may have had one big ice cream shop treat as a farewell to the chart, if I remember correctly.

      Good luck on getting there…but you should keep the wine chart, for sure. I’m starting one for myself, stat! 😉

      (Stopping by from #twinklytuesday !)

      1. My diva is nearly 4 and still has regular wet pants. I despair, more wine! Get on the wine chart straight away, you have twins. You deserve it! Thank you so much for reading, sorry for taki ages to reply, blogs been having some maintenance work!

      1. Get on the wine chart straight away, you have twins, hell get two wine charts! Thanks so much for reading. Xxx

    1. Hahahaha!! This did make me laugh!! I have a similar chart for myself — the boys don’t have a chart yet — but mine consists of gin at the end of the day! The more stress and agro mama deals with, the BIGGER the measure of gin!! 😉 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x

      Caro |

    1. I need a wine chart!! Hilarious post, we’ve had the same experience with sticker charts here! #twinklytuesday

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