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Parenting Joint Venture Contract

Dear Husband-Daddy Ltd

The PSL (Preferred Supplier List) for the Parenting Joint Venture is up for review. We have tolerated very much enjoyed working with you on this project over the last 12 months and feel your skills and ours have combined together to achieve very little some very real successes despite challenging market conditions. Our key clients “Children Incorporated” have high expectations and want to extend a much deserved “ta” in recognition of your efforts.

We would particularly like to highlight the following successes.

  • You have worked hard to establish yourself as a My Little Pony Superuser. We were all impressed when you knew Twighlight Sparkle was the purple one, and relieved when you produced a stuffed Rainbow Dash during the 2am Numberjack nightmare crisis of early September.
  • Your commitment to junk modelling is commendable, and your innovative use of the googley eye has had industry tongues wagging.
  • Your nocturnal workload has recently increased. You have dealt with this admirably, although we have been disappointed to hear that you have exceeded your allocated quota of “huffing and puffing”.

So we request that you re-submit your tender for the coming year. There has been no interest at all much interest from other parties on joining the venture so please ensure your answers are well evidenced as they will be reviewed by the client directly when the Managing Dictator has finished “Being a bit busy with the Lego”

The clients SLA – Service Level Agreement – has some very specific stipulations this year which we would like to highlight.

-We have been made aware of the use of expletives outside of the designated swearing zone. There is clear signage around the kitchen cupboard doors, notifying you that all obscenities should be muttered into an open cupboard while secretly eating a hobnob. Please ensure that you comply with the new legislations.
– We would like to draw your attention to the attached health and safety guidelines which clearly stipulate that noxious gasses should only be released in well ventilated areas. The client has also been complaining if they have to “do a wee after Daddy has done a stinky poo”. I’d hate to see this issue lead to a formal grievance.

On another matter, your recent request to the Process Improvement team to roll out “Tidy Up Time” has been swiftly rejected by the client. Although apparently this may be reviewed after Peppa Pig finishes. I have implemented a sticker chart and I will let you know if we do get any traction.

I look forward to your swift response.

Kind Regards

Helen – Mummy- Wife Ltd.

Mummascribbles

Friday Frolics

14 Comments

    1. Haha!! I am SUPER impressed that daddy knows that the purple one is called Twighlight Sparkle!! I clearly have a lot to learn. I’m a girl and even I don’t have any idea what they’re called 😉 Thanks for linking up to #TwinklyTuesday — much appreciated x

    1. This is so funny! I hope the contract negotiations go well. I particularly noted the Numberjack nightmare incident…how scary is numberjacks!? I do not expect to see clearly PG programmes on a channel aimed at pre-schoolers! Very funny. #difflinky

      1. He’s signed up for another year (assuming I review and adhere to the new maintenance agreement. thanks for reading! xx

      1. Full on nightmares. It is far too scary. thanks for hosting my favourite linky! I love knowing im going to get a giggle at the end of it!

    1. Hehe! This has made me chuckle, sometimes it really does feel like a business doesn’t it! I would also have to put in about inappropriate carrying out of household chores (if he’s going to do them it has to be in accordance with the standard operating procedures!) xxx

    1. What the f*** is up with the spooky spoon? I absolutely love this! Totally my sense of humour! HILARIOUS #fridayfrolics

      1. Bloody numberjacks. They even showed it to her at school, although I assume she was hysterical as was informed by her teacher that they will “never show her the numberjacks again” said with a head tilt and concerned look. Thanks for that, that’s a whole week more of nightmares for us to manage! xx

    1. […] from Mess Stress and Fancy Dress had me in stitches with her Parenting Joint Venture Contract.  A bit more in-depth than those marriage […]

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