When your firstborn looks nothing like you…..

My first born is like a little mirror image of my husband. There can be no question of her paternity, and seeing them walking hand in hand somewhere make my womb pulsate with happiness. They are one. I absolutely love it. But sometimes they are so similar, it leaves me feeling like an outsider. She has his mouth, his eyes, his determination, his massive feet. She is like a little, more feminine version of him. Like a mini subuteo figure of my husband.

I, however, share absolutely no physical traits with her whatsoever. She looks nothing like me. I’ve been told she has some of my facial expressions, but as I don’t really know what my face is up to most of the time, I can’t really see it myself. I just see him. And mostly that’s lovely. After all, I do love him rather a lot, so it’s no bad thing to find myself bringing up a miniature him. But sometimes it’s a bit odd.

I read somewhere that your firstborn shows up looking like their Dad for a reason. It’s natures way of helping Dad to make the connection that they belong to him, and he needs to protect them. I assume the ruination of our vagina is our personal reminder. That or the stretchmarks. Or maybe its the incontinence…….. So anyway, nature made our first born children look like Daddy to ensure their survival in the world. Isn’t nature clever. I imagine it will soon start evolving the birth process to make it more efficient too. I have been thinking about this for a while, and I suggest we go down the marsupial route. Give birth to a tiny tiny baby who just comes out without any bother, then keep them in a small pouch with nipples inside so they can feed at will without bothering you at all, whilst keeping them safe and warm and bonded. I also assume the pouch smothers the sound of crying a bit too. I swear kangaroo parenting is the way forward.

I digress. It seems terribly vain to want to have a little person who looks a bit like you. I mean, it’s not as if I look like Holly Willoughby or something. In fact, I’d be devastated if the Diva was saddled with my arse in later life. And if the small people being made in my image, meant that much to me, I should have gone and auditioned for Star Wars or something. Then I could have had my own lunchbox and thermos flask as well as a figurine. But it is kind of nice to see something of yourself in them. Just the bits you like though. So far the only thing my daughter has inherited from me appears to be her stubbornness. Yay, go me, what a great genetic donation that was.

But then the Hulk came along. I am a very natural blond, he was just as white blond as me. Mr Mess Stress and Fancy Dress is as dark as dark can be. They look absolutely nothing like each other. And as it happens, sometimes he finds that a bit odd.


But actually it turns out that having a terror or a toddler who looks just like you might not be so good. Particularly when he’s hitting another toddler over the head with a plastic bus at playgroup……..Then you start to wish like mad he looked like his bloody father.

Did you enjoy this post? If you did it would be lovely if you could find it in your heart to nominate me for the BIBS or the MADs. These are blogging awards, its a veritable path to blogging glory. Here are the links, go on, nominate me, help me get noticed, it might one day finance my swiss roll habit! xxxxx

Tots 100 Awards
PS, it might be useful to know the following –
Blog – Mess, Stress and Fancy Dress
Twitter Handle – @messymummyblog
Email – messymummyblog@gmail.com
url – http://www.messstressandfancydress.co.uk
You might have a favourite post, it might not be one of these, but these are my favourites!
Parenting Boys, It really would have been easier to get a dog
Pelvic flawed
To the Mum of the Toddler that bit my child
Reward charts – I aint doing shit without a sticker mummy
If Amazon sold babies…..
Why I’m always late for work
Life Love and Dirty Dishes


    1. Hahaha… I got that feeling too when my Little Man was born. He looked NOTHING like me and EVERYTHING like my husband. EVERYONE thought so and said so and it REALLY IRRITATED ME!!! After all, hadn’t I carried him in my big belly for 9 months? Withstanding the morning sickness et al? So not fair:(
      But then as his features changed and he became more human (!), everyone started seeing similarities between mother and son. Hurray! The joy I felt when I heard the words “He looks just like you!”
      Now he’s a nice mix of hubby and me, and I think I like it best this way:)

      Cute post. #FridayFrolics

      1. To be fair the Diva is now 4 and is starting to show the occasional flash of my personality – still not really anything physical but this is probably for the best. That’s it though, you carried them for so long, yet all you hear is statements of astonishment at how much they look like the hubster. as if maybe there was question over the paternity!

    1. My wife’s teenage daughter looks exactly like her. They both have darker complexions and very black hair. It was quite a shock to her when out daughter popped out with my light hair, blue eyes and looking like a little doll version of myself. We each have our own clone now

      1. I think we always imagine that a child will be an amazing blend featuring all the best parts of both parents. Rarely the actual case and kids seem to be one or the other and always manage to select all your worst bits!

    1. Ha ha could’ve written this myself. My daughter apparently has my expressions but I don’t see them! She looks like her dad. My 5mth old son is also the double of my hubby! People say the same thing about that nature thing making sure the dad bonds. Also, I think that they change. I’ve seen kids look like their dad and then as they get older they look more like us. I hope my daughter doesn’t look like her dad when she’s a teenager as that’d be strange ha ha! #fridayfrolics

      1. They do change!!! But dear god if she looks like her dad when she’s 14 I will indeed be concerned. It’s a strong jawline!

    1. Oh gosh, I feel your pain. NG looks EXACTLY like NW (her father). And I disown her when she’s naughty but usually I just wish she looked a LITTLE bit more like me. Lovely writing 🙂 #fridayfrolics

    1. I can totally relate to this, my gorgeous little miss is the spitting image of her daddy, I’ve lost count of the amount of family and friends who say she is basically “Paul in a dress”! It doesn’t really bother me but sometimes I wish there was a glimmer of her Mummy’s features in that tiny face! Beautiful kids by the way xx

      1. Ahhhh thanks! They have their moments! It is odd, you just want to see something of you, but really not that much, just a suggestion that they might be related to you.

    1. Haha – hilarious! Kangaroo parenting! I had actually never considered that parents whose kids look just like them are screwed when they want to disown them at playgroup. I don’t really see much of either of us in either of our kids! #fridayfrolics

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *